Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Why TAW?

What brings me to back to The Artist's Way?



I haven't been writing lately. I haven't been drawing. I haven't been taking care of myself. Over the years I've come to realize that when I am not doing these things, my life falls out of balance. I go into a downward spiral of low self-esteem and unhealthy choices in my life. I struggle to find the silver lining. I look at what others have and what I do not. I lose the clarity to make decisions.

I've come to the place on the yellow brick road where I don't know know whether to take east or west so I sit, suspended in my own darkness.


I need to write yet I lack confidence that my voice and what I have to say it “worthy” I’m so afraid of showing true emotion and being truth of who *I* am, that I’ve long hidden that self.

It’s time to open my wide electric-blue peacock feathers and emerge from the cocoon I’ve remained hidden in all these years. It is from within the darkness of the confines that I've been watching the world go by.


I censor what comes out in my thoughts. Fear of not wanting to hurt somebody. Fear of being judged by my thoughts. I write easier when I am writing to "someone" which is why an anonymous blog seemed like a way to be able to gain some confidence in being truthful and free with my words.

I have a lot to learn. I have a lot to say

Who Am I?

You are Everywhere
The Giver of Everything
You are the Mystery
You are the Power of All
You are Without Desire
Free from worry of mind
Withing beginning, without end
You are the Light of Beauty
You are Beloved of All
You are Present Everywhere
You are the Unseen
You are the Knower of all
You are unseen.

- Sat Kartar (musician)




2 comments:

Pen said...

so much of what you write hits home. so much of what you feel is familiar. so many of the reasons you are choosing to embark on this journey is similar. i look forward to sharing it with you and i hope that we both find the courage to set ourselves free.

Tanaya said...

self-censoring....my biggest enemy.