Detective Work

I did this exercise last night and as I read through them today, I'm noticing a lot of excitement and nostalgia creep in. I'm expanding on the answers as I share them with you.

My favorite childhood toy was a little green frog full of beans.

My favorite childhood game was Chinese Checkers and Junior Scrabble. I played both of these with my father every night, once dinner was over and the dishes done. I also loved playing Canasta with my Grandmother when I stayed with her during school vacations. I don't know anyone who plays Canasta now.

The best movie I ever saw as a kid was International Velvet. It's a sequel to National Velvet. Tatum O'Neil plays Velvet Brown's granddaughter who lives with her after her own parents are killed in a car accident. Tatum O'Neil raises Pi's foal and competes for the British Equestrian Team in the Olympics. Horse movies are one of my guilty pleasures. I must have seen this movie at least 100 times, but not recently. Perhaps that would make for a good Artist Date.

I don't do it much, but I enjoy swimming. I have been around water all my life until I moved to the land-locked Midwest. We had a pool in the backyard ever since I can remember. I spen tlong summers filled with lots of sunscreen and water filled ballons. Swimming is something that I can use as a meditation (provided I'm in good enough shape to be able to swim more than a lap or two. I haven't been in that shape for several years now)

If I could lighten up a little, I'd let myself be happy. I have a tendancy to ignore all the good in my life and focus on the negatives. I choose to wallow because it's safe. It's not getting my anywhere but deeper into a black hole of shame.

If it weren't too late, I'd get fit and healthy. (Is it ever too late to start a fitness regime?)

My favorite musical instrument is the guitar. I love the way it sounds and I admire someone whoc an sit down and pick and strum away. I tried to learn how to play it a few years ago and gave it away after a few short weeks of frustrations. I have me music teachings and have been told by my family that I am tone deaf. I'm not sure that is true and I'm finding the more I expose myself to msuic, the more I believe there is still hope for me. Thanks to the playstation, I've found I'm rather partial to drumming also. I've also loved the sound of the piano. I saw some girl on tv playing the recorder from her nose. I wondered about getting myself a recorder and starting to learn to play "an instrument"

The amount of money I spent on treating myself is minsicule. I don't earn a whole lot working retail. By the time I pay bills there is very little left over. I do know that I spend more than I could on food - because food has always been a comfort. I aspire to cut down on the grocery bill and redirect that money into healthier choices that comfort my inner artist and not my inner demons.

If I weren't so stingy with my inner artist, I'd buy different artist materials and delve into new projects I've never done before, like beading and ceramics. If I had the room in my apartment, I'd by a drafting table and set up an artist studio dedicated to creating a safe environment in which to work.

I secretly enjoy reading gossip magazines and women's interest magazines such as Real Life and Oprah.

If I had a perfect childhood, I'd have grown up to be a housewife and mother with an artist studio.

If I didn't sound so crazy, I'd write the memoir about my Great Uncle Charlie and his spiritual influences on my life. He dies as a POW in WW2 and was buried in St Louis, not too far from Ohio.

My parents think artists are wasteful. My mother is a lot more supportive but my father has little time for someone who chooses art as a career. He is very left-brained and analytical with a brain built for science. He is also ultra-conservative and believes in financial security and a good solid career in a high-paying position. In his world, the arts cannot provide such things. In saying that, he still carries around with him, some of my early drawings.
My mother is a lot more right brained and has an incredible talent for detailed botanical water color. She is supportive of my drawing but has a fear of the truth being"written down and set in stone" She thinks that what people say cannot create a lot of negative reaction and often get you in to trouble. She cringes at the idea of journal writing.

My God thinks that artists are amazing. They are people to be admired and respected. It's not at all easy to sit down to a blank canvas or a a blank page and create something wonderful. I admire people who can lose themselves in their art.

What makes me feel weird about this recovery is the real possibility of success. The idea that I can become a healthy, organized woman who is happy in the moment and creating finished pieces of artwork is still more a dream than reality.

Learning to trust myself is a battle. I've always been a like a chameleon to varying degrees, struggling to fit in with someone and something.

My most cheer me up music is Xavier Rud, an Australian musician. He is a multi-instrumentalist whose songs are generally about spiritual, sociological and ecological issues. I discovered him by accident when I was at an Ani DiFranco concert several years ago. I've recently discovered Loreena McKennitt and come to the realization that I really enjoy Irish and Celtic music. It's okay if that makes me a nerd.

My favorite way to dress is comfortable. I really enjoy hippish outfits. Lots of crochet and that whole thrift store mix and match that is popular amongt artists and activists. I don't tend to dress that way as much as I would like to since I'm overweight and try to hide that behind my clothing. I guess you'd call it a vintage look. It's hard to describe.